


Kylo Ren AU's

by alyeskagrace



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Based On Random Prompts, Basically Just One Big Kylo Shitpost, F/M, You're Welcome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 14:18:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12014553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyeskagrace/pseuds/alyeskagrace
Summary: Random one shots and blurbs I write about Kylo Ren on a daily basis. Figured some of you might enjoy these, so here you go! Will update as I write them, so could be once every couple weeks or once a day for a while. Who knows!





	1. Canon!Kylo & The Meeting

  It was another early morning meeting with the General and Commander, and, as the newly appointed third in command (Phasma was out of work for at least a few months after her run-in with the trash compactor), you were expected to be awake, aware, and not in the least bit ADD. Unfortunately, you were not living up to expectations at the moment. You had woken up 20 minutes late from a dream about the very over agitated Commander you were now face to face with, and, to put it simply, you were almost out of breath just at the sight of him. Even masked, fully robed, and arguing with the General about battle strategies, your mind raced thinking about the tight muscles underneath all that armor and fabric pressed up against your back as his teeth dug into your shoulder.

  
The Commander turned to look at you through the metal mask, as if expecting something. “I agree with the General, Commander Ren,” you said, looking down at the papers in front of you as if anything more than scribbles was written on them.

  
Kylo kept on staring at you as the General nodded. “Then it's settled.”

  
You stared back at the Knight, face blank but pleasant, and thought of how, in your dream, he had eagerly removed that mask to bury his face between your thighs. You could have sworn you saw his head tilt to the side then, and you imagined his eyebrows raised behind the steel. You looked back down.

  
When the meeting was finally adjourned, you were scribbling notes about future plans for Phasma when she finally returned to her position and losing yourself in the idea that the pressure on the back of your neck (most likely a product of the obviously disturbed sleep you had had last night) could be an ungloved hand of the man across from you, bending you over the very table you sat at and showing you what he did best. You knew, of course, that none of this would be anywhere near as good as the imagining of it, which is why you had absolutely no guilt in your actions.

  
General Hux dismissed you, asking Kylo to stay a moment and talk to him, and you stood and gathered your things. Hux began talking to the Commander, but his face was still turned towards you. You gave him a quick smile and hurried out the door, ready to go back to your quarters and steal an hour of sleep before the work day truly began (and maybe hopefully another dirty dream), but on your way back to your room, you kept thinking about the way Ren had continued to stare at you throughout the meeting, and that little wanting your messy dream had created grew larger and larger.

  
You were so caught up in your thoughts, you didn't even notice the heavy footsteps hurrying down the long hall behind you. Just before your bedroom door, they caught up with you and trailed just a few yards behind, but you didn't even take the time to look away, hastily punching in the room code and ducking inside the door to your quarters.

  
Hurrying into the bathroom to wash your face and remove your pants before your much anticipated nap, you didn't hear the door slide open and shut again in the main room, or the footsteps approaching the very bed where your imaginary sins had been committed.  
When you slid the bathroom door open, legs bare and hair tossed down around your shoulders from undoing the usual professional ponytail, your breath caught as you saw the masked Commander standing in front of you, hands clasped behind his back.

  
Without a word, he reached up and removed the mask, revealing his soft lips and deep eyes, his bare, enchantingly pale neck, his scarred left cheek. You choked on your own tongue.

  
“Wha- How- What are you doing here, Commander?” You stammered, voice shaking in your throat, both confused and embarrassed as you tried to cross your arms over your bare thighs.

  
“I'm here,” He spoke, and it was one of the first times you had heard his voice without the filter of the mask. “To help you relieve the distraction you exhibited in the meeting this morning.”

  
Your cheeks burned red. You opened your mouth to respond, but you were silenced by the sight of Kylo shrugging off his outermost cloak, next moving to pull off his overshirt.

  
“I'm gonna fuck the fantasy out of you.”


	2. Canon!Kylo, The Princess, & The Prisoner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a prompt by thescriptorium on tumblr.

It had taken you weeks to track down the man who laid on the ground in front of you. You didn't know his name, just like you never knew their names, but, a month ago, you had received an envelope containing his picture, where he was last seen, and where you were supposed to take him. When he arrived there, you would be paid in nondescript currency and return home to wait for your next assignment.

It had taken far too long to catch this one, though. He was an excellent pilot and had a natural affinity for slipping way just in the nick of time. You finally crashed him on a nearly desolate planet and cornered him in a cave where he had been hiding from you. It wasn't hard to overtake him; you were good at your job, and you had him restrained and lying in front of you in only minutes.

“You put up a good fight, mister” you teased him, checking around the cave for any items of importance you might want to pocket. “But so do I.”

He said something back, but his voice was so muffled from the rope in his mouth you couldn't understand him. Just then, the ground shook underneath you. Your prisoner screamed, hoping for rescue, and you stood your ground, hand on your plasma gun, staring out the mouth of the cave with wide eyes. 

In only seconds, the intruder entered. It was a tall man in pitch black robes. You almost didn't recognize him at first as the infamous Kylo Ren because his ever present mask was removed, revealing his true face to you for the first time. He was a lot more attractive than you had ever imagined, but you didn't have time to focus on that now. He clutched the helmet in his right hand and in the other his light saber, pointing it at your prisoner. “I've been looking for you, Willy,” he sang, the tip of his weapon singing the hairs on the man's chest as he pressed it closer to him, clearly an act of intimidation.

"Excuse me,” you spoke up, making the First Order Commander jump and sling his saber your way. What an idiot, you thought. Who the fuck did he think tied Willy up for him? “I believe you're about to cause damage my prisoner.”

“Your prisoner?” Kylo echoed, doing a quick scan around the room to check for any more unseen strangers. 

You sighed in annoyance. “Yes, my prisoner. And it's taken me quite a while to capture him, so I’d appreciate it if you didn't fuck it up for me now.”

Pausing for just a moment, Kylo swung back so that his light saber was resting just above the man's chest again, and he shivered beneath it. “Well, princess, me and old Willy here go way back, don't we buddy?”

The man squealed out what would have been a yes as the saber grew even closer to his chest. You rolled your eyes.

“Okay, well, that's great. But I've got a deadline to meet and a large sum to collect, so if you'll excuse us,” You had slowly made your way over to ‘Willy’ and pulled him away from the red glowing weapon, wrapping one of your hands around his tied wrists and pushing him towards the cave’s opening. “We’ll just be on our way out.”

The commander in front of you smirked. Actually fucking smirked. “Not yet, pretty one,” He teased, the fiery blade of his saber now blocking your way. “I don't think you understand. Willy here is coming with me.”

And just like that, you lost it. You could feel the heat of the weapon on your chest, not close enough to burn but close enough to generate an uncomfortable warmth, but that didn't deter you from drawing in a deep breath and stomping towards the menacing man in front of you. “Look, dude,” you roared, hands gesturing wildly with every word you spoke as you grew closer and closer to Kylo. “I've been looking for this fucker for weeks! And I’m not about to let some emo pretty boy barge in here and tell me I just did it all for nothing. Your pal Willy is coming with me to the Eridel constellation, and that's fucking final!” The man before you stood his ground, but you saw the apparent shock on his face, as if he had never been yelled at before. What a prick.

He took a deep breath, gave Willy a long look, and then finally responded, his voice low and calm in his throat. “I hear what you're saying, princess, I really do, but-”

“Stop calling me that! I-”

“Princess,” he repeated, loud and reprimanding, a warning. “You will not interrupt me again.” There was a long, shared silence. Surprising even yourself, you couldn't find a response in you. Then, he continued. “I hear what you're saying, but I've been waiting for two years to rip Willy here open like a big piñata, right Willy?” The man screamed nonsensically in response. “And I can't just let you walk out of here with him after I've finally found him again.”

You sighed again. Rubbing your temples, you attempted to appease the brute in front of you. “How about this: I'll turn my back and let you beat the shit out of him, and when you're done I'll take him to Eridel and tell everyone I found him that way. Sound good, babe?” You asked, your voice dripping as you jabbed at him for the ‘princess’ lines. 

Kylo’s dark eyes bounced from the man back to you and he actually laughed for a moment. “No, darling. I don't want to just hurt my pal Willie here.” His smile widened, and he clapped his hands behind his back as he turned back to your prisoner. “I want to kill him.”

“Sweet fucking Neptune, guy! I-”

“It's Kylo.”

“What?” You gasped, exasperated. 

He smirked. “My name's Kylo, not guy. I’d most prefer you to keep calling me ‘babe,’ though.”

“Yeah, well, babe-”

“Actually, sorry, can you try ‘baby?’ I think it would sound even better.”

You glared at him for a long moment, trying to be sure he wasn't going to interrupt again, then reluctantly continued. “I can't let you leave with him. Period. End of story. You're gonna have to kill him some other time… Baby,” you quickly added, and Kylo Ren smiled as he shook his head this time.

“You're a tough one, princess. How about… I let you take him to Eridel, follow closely behind, murder him after you get your money and, fuck it, I'll even let you live, if you follow me someplace after.”

You couldn't deny he was smooth, but you would have agreed to anything just to get out of the damn cave at this point. “And where will that be?”

Kylo Ren flashed that charming smile at you again. “To my bedroom, of course, princess. I want to see if we can work on controlling that mouth of yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flirty badass Kylo. What a gift.


	3. Modern!Kylo & The Carnival

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a prompt by lockscr33ns on tumblr.

He was a nice boy. Your mother always told you to go for the nice boys. It was easier, safer, more comfortable. A nice boy won't take another girl to your senior prom. A nice boy won't sleep with your best friend on the day of her Bachelorette party. Unfortunately, you were slowly realizing that a nice boy also won't win a single fucking carnival game.

  
Your arms were crossed tightly across your chest, your fingers twitching with “Just let me do it!” as your very nice boyfriend tried his damnedest to win you the huge sloth that hung on the top prize rack.

  
It was the first thing you had seen when you passed the balloon-popping booth, and you hadn't shut up about it since you had laid eyes on it. And Alex, being such a nice boy, was determined to win it for you. He'd been determined for thirty-two minutes now, and your legs were growing tired and cold from standing still in the fifth-date short skirt you wore.

  
You hardly noticed when a stranger walked up to the spot next to you in the booth. You were watching Alex pop two balloons and then completely miss the third for the seventh time in a row. He had to pop a full eight to win the sloth, and you were starting to think you wouldn't get to wear your sixth date skater dress when a loud pop sounded off next to you.

  
The guy next to you was tall, broad shouldered, with a nose that looked like it had been broken for pure fun several times over. His hair and eyes were dark, brooding, anything but nice. You tried to keep your breath from catching as he quickly threw another dart and popped another bright blue balloon.

  
In front of you, Alex sighed in exasperation. His shoulders were slumped in such a way that if you were paying attention you would have thought he was about to throw in the towel, but your eyes were glued to the stranger beside you in a black Darth Vader tee and a leather jacket as he effortlessly popped two more balloons.

  
Alex looked over too, both amazed and jealous, and the two of you gasped as he popped three more in one throw, only leaving one left before he could win your beloved sloth. The guy looked over and stared directly into your eyes as he popped the eighth and final balloon. Your breath caught at both the intensity of his stare and the unbelievability of him winning on his first try.

  
“Nice! Pick a prize, Kylo,” the worker cheered, and you repeated the stranger's name to yourself in your head. Kylo. Kylo was not a nice boy name.

  
Kylo, still staring at you, cracked the tiniest smile as he motioned towards you. “Whatever the lady wants,” he spoke, voice low and powerful, before walking off into the crowd.

  
The worker turned to you as Alex stared into the crowd, a look of defeat and annoyance on his face. “Well, what'll it be, miss?”

  
You stared up at the row of plush animals and characters, scanning them down to your beloved sloth and then further on, down to the last one on the shelf.

  
“I'll take the Vader one, thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MODERN!KYLO AND THE VADER PLUSH AND THE NICE BOY COMPARISON OH BUDDY!!!


End file.
